Burning

I have been overwhelmed as of late with the pull of desire. Every experience I have makes me want more- I positively ache for what I do not have- an asparagus bed, a pomegranate tree, pumpkins everywhere. A fire in the fireplace. A reason to go to Bali. I only realized this as a potential problem last night, when I was eating an amazing chocolate cake and I realized while I was still eating it that I wished I had the whole piece left, that I could keep eating it forever- I wondered when I could have it again. I had to consciously stop and remember that I had the cake in front of me still, that I would probably get to have cake again. So, now I am trying to counteract my heart pulling desires with a big dose of gratitude and presence. One day, I shall have my asparagus bed, my healing garden and some very happy chickens, I am sure. Right now though, I still have a lot to learn.

This weekend was intense. It started out with a strange desire to GET OUT. I love Richmond, but sometimes its familiarity becomes stifling, So, this was one of the rare times that I am happy that KT lives so darned far away- I can get a good, long gorgeous drive in. A head clearing drive. A drive leading to the sage embrace of the mountains in autumn. I love that drive. For half of the four hour drive home in fact, I could not have any music or noise of any kind playing in the car- I drove in absolute, perfect silence, admiring country garden decor and appreciating the many farmhouses with tin roofs. I spent the time just looking at the light, trying to let all of the information and energy I had encountered this weekend settle into something I could recognize. I am still a recovering introvert, you know.

I will keep the introductions of our teachers short, because I am not sure that I have actually processed their lessons, even in part. Basically, KT and I were the sole recipients of herbal, historical, magical knowledge from some of the most intense, cerebral people I have ever met. The Feral Intellectuals, as they are affectionately known, include two Hellenistic astrologers, (also former St. John's students) one Medieval astrologer, a Cherokee medicine woman, and Matthew Wood, an amazing herbalist and healer. I am sure that I am not representing their credentials fully, but you get the idea. Intense. Intense and wonderful, an experience supporting my desire for more knowledge with an incredible sense of gratefulness. For now though, I will rest.