Confession

I have a new tactic for dealing with people I find difficult. I picture them as children. I see them with glasses too big for their faces, with shoes they did not pick out, with haircuts they did not choose, (or that they did themselves.) I see them with dreams of becoming heroes. I see them searching for truth- for an understanding of the way this crazy world actually works. As children, we are vulnerable and have not yet built the armour that protects our soul from the outside world. We have no firm grasp of truth. Hell, for all we know, there is some magical man at the North Pole who knows our innermost (albeit materialistic) desires.

And then, those truths come crashing down. People become fallible and hard to count on. Santa is, well, you know. And so, the armour is built. Piece by piece of painful memories and regrets that constitute our reality, 'protecting us' from emotional vulnerability. Until we discover that truth is not just what is in front of our noses, it is that which is both seen and unseen. Truth has a past, a present and a future of which we can only guess. And we discover that love cannot possibly act through that armour of pain we have built.

I absolutely adore Joseph Campbell. He changed my life with one command- Participate. You cannot love if you do not participate, act, roll around- do the chicken dance. You must BE in this world. You must BE love.

This works for me, when I can get past my own reaction and see the objects of my frustration as children. I can see the importance of loving those children, and of helping them release that armour of pain they must be carrying. I have always known love through its action, though love is not only a verb. It is a noun as well- a presence that can BE in us, with us, instead of the pain.

And, that is also the spirit in which I approach this blog. I have no idea who is reading it. I send it out into the great wide world with the faith that it is taken in the right spirit by the people who love me. It is my exercise in release, in loving that which is true to me, and doing so without fear.

"Jack pines... are not lumber trees [and they] won't win many beauty contests either. But to me this valiant old tree, solitary on its own rocky point, is as beautiful as a living thing can be... In the calligraphy of its shape against the sky is written strength of character and perseverance, survival of wind, drought, cold, heat, disease... In its silence it speaks of... wholeness... an integrity that comes from being what you are."
-Douglas Wood